The 3 Stages of Healing Inner Wounds

At one point or another, we all experience grief and inner pain, but there’s something about our struggle that contains an inherent beauty. We only suffer when we don’t take steps to immerse ourselves into it and allow ourselves to mend. We are afraid to feel pain because we fear its depth and its melancholic abyss. However, we should not fear our inner wounds; they are a consequence of full living and the bravery to take chances. If we make the effort, we can find a way to become stronger despite all of our pain. Beneath all the sorrow sits a valuable lesson that we can grow and evolve from. Time is not our healer, we empower ourselves to mend by deciding to not suffer within grief anymore.

There is always a way forward. We can only start a healing process by allowing ourselves to feel and dig deeper when we’re experiencing our darker emotions. Here are 3 stages to help you recover from adversity.

“I think scars are like battle wounds - beautiful, in a way. They show what you've been through and how strong you are for coming out of it.” - Demi Lovato

1. Immersion

In order to heal, we need to feel. Our emotions can be dense and heavy; the purpose of immersing into the pain is to find a way through it. As long as we avoid feeling these difficult emotions, we will not be able to understand them with more love and honesty. By taking steps back into heartache we can find a way to deal with the melancholy and channel that emotion more positively. Tears are cleansing and purifying; they are not a sign of weakness. Vulnerability is the essence of our existence, it comes with living from an open heart. Tears and sadness all come from being emotionally intelligent. Our biggest strides into transformation and growth come from reinventing and renewing ourselves through our darkest times.

2. Compassion and Understanding

We are deserving of the same compassion that we show others. We will make mistakes, we will have our hearts broken, break hearts,  and fail at many things. The challenge is to forgo any bitterness or feelings of purgatory through acceptance and forgiveness. We can only empower ourselves. When we own our story, we take responsibility for all our experiences and resulting feelings about them. When we do so, we fuel the changes that we need so we move forward. Emotions are fluid, they are transient. When we learn to flow with them, we begin to govern ourselves with greater emotional intelligence.

“You don't learn from successes; you don't learn from awards; you don't learn from celebrity; you only learn from wounds and scars and mistakes and failures. And that's the truth.” - Jane Fonda

3. Absorb the lesson and release

We find our true self and inner strength when we learn to cope with life’s internal struggles. Once we’ve uncovered a lesson or taken some wisdom from a hurtful experience, we take our power back. We only suffer when we cling onto and fearfully protect our pain. Our heart seeks to expose us to a heightened awareness through our healing process. This is how we keep our edges soft rather than being sharpened by the sting of pain that is left unattended or denied. We absorb the lesson so we can release the sorrow. We will always have a memory of deep hurt, yet we can come to find some beauty within that memory for everything it taught us.

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.” - Oprah Winfrey

Any time that we fall down is a chance for us to rise higher than before. All our battle scars and heartbreak can transform into milestones of where a great change for the better was inspired. We can rebuild and renew from all our sad times and woes, but first we need to become brave and feel all of the emotions we need in order to heal.

Related Articles